Saturday, February 16, 2008
This is a very personal post . . . I'm not sure I really want to post it. But I think I will anyway. I like this picture of my husband - dressed up and a good day! Not all of his days are good. He has struggled for years with bi-polar (manic depression) issues, and a host of physical illnesses and addiction associated with all of that. We all come to this earth with challenges. But his must be so hard - that so few of us can understand. I know I don't. Some days I feel so angry, but it is wasted negative emotion that only harms. I feel sorry for myself - quite selfish negative nowhere going emotions. But then . . . I have always felt a deep abiding belief that we knew and loved each other in the preexistence. I believe I promised him I'd stay and love him and help raise our families. I have tried to do this. Peace fills my soul when I ponder on it and I feel that this is true. That is one emotion that always brings me around. I have no doubt that Jim also loves me with all that he has. I have no idea how long he will live, but it always seems quite tenuous. I pray, hope and love him. That's all.