Saturday, February 16, 2008

Jim


This is a very personal post . . . I'm not sure I really want to post it. But I think I will anyway. I like this picture of my husband - dressed up and a good day! Not all of his days are good. He has struggled for years with bi-polar (manic depression) issues, and a host of physical illnesses and addiction associated with all of that. We all come to this earth with challenges. But his must be so hard - that so few of us can understand. I know I don't. Some days I feel so angry, but it is wasted negative emotion that only harms. I feel sorry for myself - quite selfish negative nowhere going emotions. But then . . . I have always felt a deep abiding belief that we knew and loved each other in the preexistence. I believe I promised him I'd stay and love him and help raise our families. I have tried to do this. Peace fills my soul when I ponder on it and I feel that this is true. That is one emotion that always brings me around. I have no doubt that Jim also loves me with all that he has. I have no idea how long he will live, but it always seems quite tenuous. I pray, hope and love him. That's all.

3 comments:

  1. What a thoughtful and honest blog entry. It is exactly how anyone would feel. Hopefully most of us won't have to go through your trial but your love is so evident. Hugs, hugs, hugs.
    Joan

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  2. You are such an amazingly strong woman. I have always admired you for that. Your soft heart and kindness has touched so many peoples lives. I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father has allowed me to be a part of your life. Stay strong.
    Jem

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  3. mom you are an amazing woman, so strong!I am blessed to see your example and to be able to know that you are capable of enduring such trials in your life. our whole family has been held together by your faith and wisdom. I know that I wouldn't have my husband in my life right now if you hadn't planted the seed for the testimony that I have. I love you! all of us are so blessed to have you as our mother, sister, wife, friend... the list goes on

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